We often lead in the subtlest way.
In, aikido, my martial arts practice one person leads by providing the energy, or attack, and the other person responds. How someone provides energy leads to how a beginner will respond.
Vigorous energy leads to vigorous response. Mean spirited energy leads to hard intense response. Weak energy leads to minimal response.
Believe me you learn this quickly when you are physically involved!
I’ve noticed the same is true off the mat in a more subtle way. For example:
- Beginning meetings late leads to people coming late
- Blaming someone leads to a defensive response
- Giving unclear direction leads to lack of clear results
Not getting the response you want? Check to make sure you are setting a clear lead.
Now flip the scenario, you are on the receiving end of unclear leads, what do you do? The advanced aikido student will respond clearly with sincerity regardless of the energy provided. Off the mat an advanced student will:
- Show up on time
- Diffuse blame by choosing to learn more about the situation
- Ask for clear expectations
If you find yourself in annoying unclear situations ask yourself these two questions:
- Am I providing a clear lead?
- Am I responding to another person’s unclear subtle leads honorably with questions for clarity?
Hope your summer is off to a great beginning!
Tags: aikido, conflict, Conflict Resolution, intention
