What a tangle! I’ve been out pruning trees and bushes in my yard. Truly, this is evidence that nature does indeed fill a vacuum. The plants I want to flourish need space! If I don’t prune out the undesirable plants, the ones I want are overrun into a massive tangle.
Does this sound like other areas of life?
As I begin this week, this day, and even this moment I am more mindful how in my life I choose to prune out things that don’t fit with what I want.
Open space, a vacuum, fills randomly with whatever pushes its way in.
If a spiral has no intention - it is just a circle. Be mindful of your intentions to Spiral Impact your desires!
What do you need to prune to make room for what you want?
March was truly an exciting month in Indy. Our Butler Bulldogs provided us with a tremendous amount of inspiration, entertainment and hope. I am still catching my breath.
This early April morning I walked out the front door and low and behold my ferns had grown at least 10 inches overnight! Wow!
Where’s the connection?
The right conditions facilitate rapid growth. Whether you are person or a plant - you’ve got to have the right conditions.
What are the right conditions? I believe:
* A clear intention or desire
* A calm yet energized presence
* Support and encouragement
* Knowledge or strategy
Do you have these elements in your life? If you lead people, do you provide this for your employees? What about your children?
Thank you Coach Brad Stevens for showing us what it is to lead without yelling and throwing things; thank you mother nature for the right rain, sun and protection from pests for my plants!
In, aikido, my martial arts practice one person leads by providing the energy, or attack, and the other person responds. How someone provides energy leads to how a beginner will respond.
Vigorous energy leads to vigorous response. Mean spirited energy leads to hard intense response. Weak energy leads to minimal response.
Believe me you learn this quickly when you are physically involved!
I’ve noticed the same is true off the mat in a more subtle way. For example:
Beginning meetings late leads to people coming late
Blaming someone leads to a defensive response
Giving unclear direction leads to lack of clear results
Not getting the response you want? Check to make sure you are setting a clear lead.
Now flip the scenario, you are on the receiving end of unclear leads, what do you do? The advanced aikido student will respond clearly with sincerity regardless of the energy provided. Off the mat an advanced student will:
Show up on time
Diffuse blame by choosing to learn more about the situation
Ask for clear expectations
If you find yourself in annoying unclear situations ask yourself these two questions:
Am I providing a clear lead?
Am I responding to another person’s unclear subtle leads honorably with questions for clarity?
I pulled a dandelion out of my yard as a bee was enjoying sucking its nectar.
The bee stung me.
I knew this would happen. I did it anyway. And, I wasn’t surprised at the sting I received.
Knowledge isn’t power. Applied knowledge is power.
Most people have experienced doing something ’stupid,’ knowing the consequences and doing it anyway. Have you?
Knowledge isn’t power. Spiral Impact is a methodology for getting things done with grace by engaging knowledge with focused energy, clear intention and support! I was clearly lacking focused energy when I reached for the bee.
Think about how many things we ‘know’ yet we still don’t get the result we want. Usually, it is because one or more of the following Spiral Impact Quadrants are not engaged, such as:
Knowledge - lacking information
Focused energy - lacking the raw physical, mental, or emotional energy to show up and perform
Intention - lacking a defined outcome
Support - not enough support to implement
When all four Spiral Impact Quadrants are positively engaged you will find it easier to get a fabulous result!
Tell me, which Quadrant are you most challenged with?
What was the hold up?Traffic was backed up for blocks and it wasn’t rush hour.
I took a deep breath knowing this may make me late.
The culprit became clear as I approached the tie up – an emptied trashcan rolling lazily about in the road.Impressive was the power this small piece of plastic held over massive SUV’s, minivans, and luxury cars all forced to wait for passage.
Then came my opening to by-pass the can and escape the hold-up.
Instead, I stopped.
I stepped out of my car and returned the can to its appointed place at the curb and the traffic surged forward. It was a simple gesture on my part and saved many people from wasted time and energy.
What about you?Are there “rolling trashcans” controlling your life?You can act on those “trashcans” even if they aren’t your responsibility.Maybe its office gossip, misinformation, or something broken needing to be fixed…
The scent of Viburnum in the air and Dogwood blossoms gracing the budding woods - these are all signs of spring and my April birthday.
This is always a reflective time for me, my own personal new year.
As the years tick by, I notice my role model’s attributes. They tend to have two common traits: a sparkle in their eyes and a radiant smile. Not flawless beauty as defined in the media, but a joyful energy and a peaceful presence.
A sparkle in the eyes and a radiant smile do more for appearance than expensive anti-wrinkle creams. Chronological youth doesn’t even guarantee these traits. As far as I know, neither does anything that money can buy.
Here are what I observe are the Top 5 Ways to keep the Sparkle:
Befriend short term anxiety and stress - short term stress means you are outside your comfort zone; this creates growth.
Be centered - take time to create and maintain personal balance; breathing fully.
Know too much white can make you blue - consuming too much sugar, flour, and alcohol zap energy.
Ask for and receive support - you can’t always do everything yourself.
Clearly stake out your intentions - declare where you are going and who you are going to be in the process.
How about that, these are all elements of Spiral Impact!
Sure, I am frequently tempted to play favorites both on the aikido training mat and in my life.
My favorites are people who make me feel comfortable and see things from my point of view. On the aikido mat they are fun to practice with because the techniques just flow and we fly through the air with ease; frankly, it is a blast.
It is the difficult people I sometimes want to avoid. In life, they don’t share my point of view. On the training mat they are the people who come in either too strong or too limp.
Yet, it’s those difficult people, where I stretch and grow both on the mat and in life.
The person who questions or corrects something I say…stretches me to get clarity and broaden my perspective.
The person who is emotionally out of control…stretches me to get more balance in my center.
The person who is limp or lacking initiative…stretches my patience and understanding
In aikido there is a saying, “your attacker is never wrong.” This statement is a stretch for most people. Think about the last time you felt attacked verbally or were in disagreement with an adversary.Did you believe your adversary was wrongand you were right?
This is one way people get stuck.
To get ‘unstuck,’ evaluate your intention. If your intention is to be right, you will see your adversary as wrong. If your intention is to create influence and collaborate you will realize “your attacker is never wrong.”It is up to you to Spiral Impact to understand his or her perspective. Only then will you find a resolution to the situation.
When you live by this concept, you will rarely feel attacked because the difficult person or situation becomes a cataylst for a different perspective or angle.
I’ve been listening more and talking less lately. I must admit, it’s a relief. It is much easier to observe and learn while truly listening . And, it is much more entertaining!
One of the many things I’ve noticed is people have stories that they seem to repeat and repeat, often for years, including me. Some I’ve heard recently are:
¨ Still trying to lose that 10 pounds
¨ I am just bad at communicating
¨ He always forgets his promises
¨ I am back in that relationship again, I know it’s bad
I am reminded of a slogan an old friend used to say, “That’s my story, and I am sticking to it.” Well, I believe whenever you continue to repeat a story you are ’staking claim’ to this story as your truth. You are sticking to it by continuing to say it. It has become your mantra!
You keep saying it; it keeps happening. Is there a connection?
Another friend of mine chimes every time I see him, “Life is easy toooday!” His life is easy.
